Ways to Partner With Parents in Youth Ministry and Discipleship

How can I get parents involved in discipling their kids, and other students in the youth group?

At the end of the day, we want parents to model Christ to their students and their children. This means we need to partner with parents in youth ministry, and equip them to disciple their own kids — not just swoop in as the “expert youth guy”. Paul’s words to the Ephesian church apply to every shepherding role in the local body. As a student pastor, our mission is this:

“…to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ…” – Ephesians 4:12

We asked Brian Freerksen, long-time student pastor and pastor to answer this question at a SWO youth ministry conference — and wanted to share his thoughts and personal experience with you. If you want to listen to the audio recording, simply click below.

Let’s dig in.

Work With Your Pastoral Team

This topic is also a great opportunity for you to engage in conversation with your senior pastor, or with any other pastors on staff. Don’t go it alone!

Family discipleship is a church-wide mission, not just a goal for your student ministry.

We need to work together as a team to impact the lives of parents and families as a whole. If we want parents to disciple their students, it’s not about just sending home a resource. We have sent questions home with parents before with the hope that they will engage in conversation with their student about the lesson or the study we’ve been going through. And that’s great, and we desire there to be communication and conversation between a student and their parent. However, if we’re asking them to model Christ, they need to understand the importance of growing personally and spiritually and then living that out in their homes. The vast majority of teenagers will still say that their parent is the most influential person in their life, and we want to help parents. You can encourage parents that their teenager wants to hear from them!

Teens want to see what is important to their parents, and they want to see their parents model that importance in their lives.

Plan an Annual Parent Meeting (at a Minimum)

We do an annual parent meeting, where we invite parents to come and be a part of the ministry. We have a wide range of opportunities for parents to be involved. If they’re going to teach, open up Scripture, or do mentoring, we have a process for that.

But if they’re just coming to do check-in, greet someone in the parking lot, or interact with parents when they’re dropping their students off, those opportunities don’t require a whole lot of work. We do have a little bit of training for that, and as a matter of fact, a new couple is coming for training tomorrow morning. I won’t be there, but our staff is going to show them how to do check-in and how to be greeters. I have a great staff, and I trust them, they know the process, and I know they can get it done.

When we invite parents, we break down all of our opportunities, jobs, and expectations. We explain that if they want to be long-term and commit to a year, or even re-up after that, that’s great! Or if they just want to come for a single event, every other week, or once a month. There are many different job opportunities!

We wait for them to tell us if they have the time and desire to fill those roles. What we have found is that when we get them in the door, doing check-in, or helping out with a game or activity, they begin to see our heart. They see us interacting with their student and others, and because of that, they want to be involved more and engage in further conversations.

Communication is Key to Partner with Parents in Youth Ministry

Involving parents is about communicating with them, letting them know that they are needed and they have a place.

Oftentimes, parents think their teenager wants nothing to do with them, and we have found that to be completely the opposite. We have more students than not who are excited that their parents show up and are involved. Maybe the students don’t want their parent teaching their small group and getting all in their business, but they appreciate their parents just being there because they care about their child’s life, what’s going on with them, and who their friends are.

So put together a list, find out where you need help, let the parents know that you have needs, and clarify those needs!