How to Address a Student Showing No Spiritual Fruit

So, what are we supposed to do if a teen is claiming to be a Christian but is showing no spiritual fruit? What’s the biblical, caring way to handle that conversation?

When a Teen is Showing No Spiritual Fruit

Here’s the exact question we got during a panel discussion at our youth pastor conference:

We have a female student who says she gave her life to Christ last year and wants to be baptized. We’ve had several conversations about salvation/baptism, but other students have pointed out that there is no spiritual fruit. She is currently in a homosexual relationship, her social media is full of profane language, and there is other evidence of no spiritual fruit in her life. Her family doesn’t attend church. How should we address her?

We asked Jeff Martin, a veteran student pastor and pastor in Johnson City, TN, to share his experience.

Let’s dig in to hear what Jeff has learned and how he handled a specific situation.

1. Earn the right to be heard.

We have several homosexuals who attend the church I lead. Some are not active in that lifestyle, others are having a season of victory and others are questioning.

The first thing I would say is that you must earn the right to be heard. You need to be present in this person’s life to speak into it. If you’re just coming from a position of ‘I’m the youth leader’ and you’re speaking at them, they’re just going to shut you out. Be present in their life. Listen. When you’re present, listen. You don’t have to have a response before they finish talking. When they finish what they’re saying and you’ve already come up with a response, that action tells them that you’re not really listening to them.

A simple trick to help students feel heard is the acronym SOLAR.

SOLAR – Teach your small group leaders this acronym!

• S – square up to them. Posture yourself so you’re looking at them.
• O – open your posture. Don’t cross your arms.
• L – listen.
• A – acknowledge them when they talk or repeat.
• R – respond.

2. Speak truth even When it’s risky.

In a situation similar to this we had a girl who wanted to work in children’s ministry; she was a professed believer, but in a homosexual relationship, unrepentant, living that lifestyle.

And we cared for her. We had her over for dinner.

That night I took her to Hebrews 6, this is a passage that’s warning Christians and non-Christians. It seems like the author is saying it’s possible for people to experience Christian things and not actually be a Christian. It seems like the author is saying if you experience this and walk away from it, you won’t come back. My fear was that she had experienced a lot of Christian things, but if she turned away now, I fear she wouldn’t come back. I wanted to warn her.

I took her to 1 Corinthians 6 and showed her a list of sins, not just homosexuality.

The important thing was for her to walk in repentance. I tried to walk through these things as gently as I could, but she got livid. She threatened to take it to the local news and say our church wouldn’t allow a homosexual to serve in our church and we had lawyers involved. It was a tough situation. Now, she broke up with her girlfriend, she came back around and she’s dating a guy and she’s having some attraction to him. She’s had some direct answer to prayers. That’s how we handled that situation.

She’s coming back to church and it’s been a beautiful thing.

Speak truth even if it’s risky.