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When is the Right Time to Leave a Church as a Youth Pastor?

time to leave a church as a youth pastor

How do I know when it’s time to leave a church?

It’s a good question to consider. Too often, we ask the Lord this question before we’re ready to listen to the Lord’s answer. We asked Jonge Tate, long-time student pastor and church planter to answer this question at one of our previous youth ministry conferences — and wanted to share his thoughts and personal experience with you

Let’s dig in.

We need to remember that nowhere in the Bible does God ever say, “I will follow you.”

Never.

God never comes to anybody in the Bible and says, “Hey, what do you think about this?” or, “I want to hear what you have to say.” You don’t ever see that because God is God. He sits on His throne and he’s your boss. He’s who you follow. And wherever you’re serving, you’re there on assignment. You don’t move from ministry stepping stones to build a better resume or to look better.

Put your hand on the plow and you don’t let up until God calls you to move on.

It is indeed very easy to get the ‘Jesus mentality’, saying, “But look at all the good things that God is doing!”

Keep in mind that he’s the Chief Shepherd, capital S, you’re the little shepherd.

Corrie Ten Boom said,

“Hold everything loosely. It will hurt when God takes it away.”

That’s a good word.

Everything that you have, everything that you’re influencing, is a gift of God.

We need to be smart enough to recognize that the cases where God leaves somebody in the same location forever are rare.

The Pied Piper Of Youth Ministry

I made a lot of mistakes early on. There was a youth ministry I worked in seminary that was doing a really good job of discipling 50 students, so we took it to 77 students. That was the church where I thought if I could get two 55-passenger buses packed to drive to Snowbird, then we’d really be doing something… and we did.

But I left. God moved me back home where my father was dying of Alzheimer’s. He graced me with the opportunity to be there during that season, and for him to get to meet my firstborn son. But when I left that church, they went from 77 in Sunday school to 17.

What an epic fail. I was the Pied Piper.

“I didn’t equip people to do the work of the ministry.” – Jonge Tate

Push and pull

After that I began to look at everything very differently.

This isn’t mine, this is Jesus’ ministry, and when he gives me this tug, for me, there’s always been this push and this pull, and generally, they’re both from God. Sometimes there’s this push, of I know you love these people, and I know you’re all in and you’re entrenched, but I have something else for you that I need you to do, and somebody else needs to come in and do something that you’re not gifted at.

The Lord will sometimes use his people to help you consider if it’s time to leave a church. It’s okay for you to be responsive to that.

Sometimes it’s a push of the people in that church, you’re just not the right guide or the right person to take it on to the next place. And when my wife and I began to feel that tug, we began to pray, “God, would you confirm it in the people around us? You’re the God who causes people to have dreams at night, that they just wake up and go, “I had a dream that you were standing before the church telling people you were leaving.”

That happened two weeks after my wife and I began praying, “Is it time for us to leave and go serve back in our hometown because my father’s dying of Alzheimer’s?” Is it selfish that I wanna be there?

The lord is Speaking

At the end of the day, I want to say this to you.

The Example of Eli and Samuel — 1 Samuel 3

Somebody’s trying to hear a voice and they don’t know what it is. Eli’s the priest, and young Samuel hears a voice. He runs to Eli, can’t you hear the little feet pattering as he runs down the hallway? “Eli, Eli, Eli!” He says. And Eli’s saying, “Go back to bed, boy. I didn’t call you.” So he goes back to sleep but hears it again, so he goes down, and does this three times. And then Eli finally wakes up. And he thinks, “Oh, what if God is speaking?” The Scripture says, the Lord came and stood.

And you know what Samuel’s response was?

“Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

How do I answer that question? My best response to you is to follow that example in 1 Samuel 3, get in a closet and say, “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.”

God is Talking, Listen to Him

What I’ve known in my own life is I’m not always listening to what he might say.

“I need you to stay, this is gonna get difficult, it’s gonna get tough, and this is gonna be nasty.” And the Sunday when I was an interim youth pastor for a season, a guy stood up and preached from a book of everything I needed to know, I learned in kindergarten, that was his text. He said that every time you see a rainbow, that’s God repenting of his sin. Right then people in the church got up and walked out, but God said to me, “No, don’t you go anywhere. I called you here. There’s a remnant here that I’m working with, and I need you to stay.”

And then there were times where God was like, “Okay, it’s time to move on, it’s time to move on to something else.” There is no blanked answer to when it’s time to leave a church as a pastor.

At the end of the day, God is your boss. Do exactly what he says, and leave all the consequences up to him.

Jonge Tate

Jonge Tate is the lead pastor of Bedrock Community Church in Bedford, Virginia. He is a church planter, former student pastor, and loves JESUS, his wife, and 4 kids by the power of the Gospel. He also loves his church, missions, hunting, cycling, backpacking, building, guns, heights, and a good dog.

This session was originally published as part of a Q&A session at the Iron on Iron youth ministry conference. Click here to listen to the entire discussion.

January 18, 2025

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