Wisdom and Tips For First-Time Youth Pastors

Steve Brooks is a long-time SWO partner, and has been faithfully serving in youth ministry since the mid-1990s — at the same church! We spoke with him at our student ministry conference to grab some insight into his best tips for first-time youth pastors at our student ministry conference and he was more than helpful!

Let’s dig in.

What wisdom, encouragement, or advice would you give to those who are first-time youth pastors or any volunteer leaders new to student ministry?

Well, the number one thing we say is God doesn’t necessarily call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

I love that, but it’s so true. When you look at any calling you will see that the Lord will equip you for what he’s calling you into, and often it’s with fear and trepidation. One way you know you’re ready to to be in ministry or work with students is when you don’t feel worthy or good enough to do it, because if you do, then you’re going to step in with pride.

There’s a point you need to reach where you’re saying, “Okay, I need you God, and if you don’t come through, this is not gonna work.” And that’s a positive thing.

The biggest thing I was told, and we tell our leaders stepping in now is,

Love God, love others, love students.

Self-Evaluation Questions for New Student Pastors

Students simply want to know if you really love the Lord, if you care about them, or if you’re doing this for your own gain. Students can smell authenticity or inauthenticity.

The main point is, do you really love God? Are you spending time with God? The first place we always start with leader in our ministry are these four questions:

• Are you developing a relationship with Jesus?
• Do you truly know him?
• Are you serving Him?
• Do you care about these students?

If the answer to any of those is “no,” don’t serve in ministry. But if the answer is yes, then God is saying, “Okay, I’ve got plenty to work with here.”

3 Tips for First-Time Youth Pastors

1. Root out the red flags.

The biggest part when you step into ministry is authenticity. We cannot step into a leadership role if we need something from them. If we do, that’s a big red flag.

I was a volunteer when I first got started in youth ministry, and I remember stepping in needing affirmation. I was in youth group off and on when I was in high school, and I stepped into being a leader at 23-years-old, all of a sudden it’s like, “Oh, this is cool. I am now the center of attention. I am now getting what I didn’t get in high school.”

Students were coming to me and it was feeding my need to be needed. That is a huge red flag. If you’re stepping in and need that affirmation or you want to be their buddy, there’s a problem. We’re not in the youth ministry to be buddies, students don’t need another buddy, they have plenty.

They’re looking for adults who like to be around students. That’s what charges their batteries.

2. Don’t be a big kid.

Students will say, “Oh, Steve, you’re just a big kid,” because I like to have fun and scare people… It’s like a passion of mine. But when people say, “Oh, you’re just a big kid,” I will always correct them, and I’ll say “I’m an adult who enjoys having fun and being with students.”

There’s a big difference.

They don’t want a big kid, they want an adult who has maturity, who loves the Lord, and who cares about them. That means a whole lot more to them. If you need to be needed, affirmed and for them to like you- you’re losing. You’re going to cower, you’re going to bend to what will please or appease them, and they don’t truly want that. Over time, they will disrespect you, and they’ll say you’re not authentic and you’re not mature. They need to see somebody with the maturity to call hard shots.

They need to see that we are not dependent on them liking us and we are not finding our identity in being a youth minister, even a good one.

We need to be clear that we are faithful to the Lord.

We are spending time with him, and getting our affirmation from him alone. We do all this so that we can better serve them. If you have any leaders in your ministry, point this out.

3. Find your identity in Christ (not youth ministry).

But this is big in youth ministry, and this is not for just new youth ministers, it’s for every student pastor (today).

Are we coming from an orphan spirit where we’re trying to perform well and have our needs met? Or are we coming from confidence in our our identity being an adopted child of God? We spent a whole summer at SWO talking about the Father Heart of God, realizing He loves me and I matter to him. I’m gonna serve him, and I’m gonna get my needs met from Jesus, then we’re free to love the students in a way that they respect and they care. They may not like it at first, but over time, they’ll respect it and the church will respect you for who you are.

That is how a child of God responds to the questions we posed.

So look at them and ask, “Am I doing this right?” See what needs to be done.

It’s OK to Not Have All the Answers

You’re not going know the answers to every question in the Bible.

Just be honest — say you don’t know.

If you’re honest and authentic, students respect that. Simply saying, “that is a really good question”. Don’t come out with a forced answer because you feel like you should. Again, that’s performance-driven, thinking, “I got to have it right, I’ve got to…” No.

Say, “You know what? I don’t know, let’s look in the Bible. Let’s see what it says… ”

Then work with them to find it. it’s another way of ministry outside outside or preaching, saying, “Let’s look at this together,” or “Let’s both look it up and then come back and deal with this.”

This panel discussion question was discussed during a previous youth ministry conference. Click here to listen to the entire panel discussion (of 6+ questions).